I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
