She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Green mimosas i think yes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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