id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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