I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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