Need sex. Gaining weight.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
