you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Watching her eat just hurts me
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
