"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
