New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
