he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
