you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
