we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
