So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
