Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Still dying that you shit outside
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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