So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
