Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
