My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
