After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
