We got so high we made milksteak
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I still have a little drunk in my system
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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