Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
