So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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