I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize