oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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