Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
