just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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