The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize