Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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