We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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