Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
