He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
