I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
