I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
