That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My ass is underappreciated
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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