I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
