Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
