How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
