It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
