he puts the penis in happiness.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
