everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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