walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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