i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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