she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My liver just broke up with me...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize