whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
