I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He has the fingertips of a God
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
