what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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