I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
