a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
