I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
