using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
