people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
did i walk over a car last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
