new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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