Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
