I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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