They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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