I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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