i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
