I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
