..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
