I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my being single is dangerous.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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