Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
