I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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