No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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