So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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