so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
