He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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