you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
