I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
