is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
