Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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