You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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