the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
