So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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