she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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