shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
