In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
