Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
