Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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