So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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