I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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