dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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