I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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