Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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