I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize